Be Careful What You Say... About Flip-flops!

Don’t assume, ask.

One of the first real lessons I learned about the power of a leader’s words involved flip-flops. Yep, the same simple footwear that we all step into each summer. No matter how simple your comments are, your staff is always listening closely. So, the moral of this story is to be thoughtful with your expressed thoughts and ensure that everyone is clear on your instructions. As illustration, here’s my experience with how flip-flops can flip flop your intent.

One of our organization’s engineers was changing jobs and heading to his new position in Hawaii. During his last days in the office, he and I had a chance to talk about his expectations for the new assignment and what he was looking forward to doing while living his best island life. As you can imagine, snorkeling, scuba diving, hiking, and merely enjoying the beautiful scenery consumed most of our conversation. We both enjoy tropical locations and were having a real connection.

At some point in the conversation, I happened to glance down at his feet – a typical introvert move – and saw that he was wearing flip-flops. For anyone who works with computer scientists, engineers, mathematicians, and STEM professionals in general, you know that casual footwear and clothing are standard fare, so I wasn’t surprised to see his bare toes wiggling in his sandals. I grinned and said something along the lines of, “Look at you wearing your flip-flops! You’re all ready for Hawaii!” I was thrilled we ended our talk on a fun note and went off to my next meeting.

Fast forward a month.

The engineer was safely in Hawaii and off to a wonderful start but back at our main office something was a bit off. One of my subordinate leaders had overheard our conversation and keyed in specifically on my comment about flip-flops. They misinterpreted my joyful observation and drafted a formal memo outlining company policy specifically requiring professional work attire and stating that flip-flops did not fit the bill. What?!?! I was dumbstruck. How could they have misinterpreted my intent, which was merely to have a little fun at work and to make a personal connection with a colleague? And on top of that, now part of the organization was explicitly banned from wearing comfortable clothing and probably questioning management’s judgment and level of care for their well-being. Okay, maybe I’m stretching this a bit, as we’re only talking about flip-flops but… you get my drift. Leadership had reacted boldly and incorrectly based on an assumption. And while I applaud my direct report for taking action, it would have been a quick check-in with me to confirm my intent and realize there was no need to impact morale by limiting clothing choices.

So, what to do?

On the heels of learning about the memo, I walked over to the subordinate leader’s office and asked for time to talk. We ultimately laughed about the misunderstanding and worked out together how to course correct with the team. Folks were pretty happy to get to wear their favorite t-shirts, jeans, and footwear again and were pleasantly surprised to see me wearing flip-flops with my business suits – which I did intentionally for the next month or so to ensure everyone got the “memo”.

In this case, eavesdropping was the culprit so be aware that even when you are having a casual conversation at the proverbial watercooler or while on one of your walkabouts or even while taking a privy break, your team is listening to what you are saying. It is important to be clear when you are brainstorming, shooting the breeze, or giving direction. You don’t want to leave it up for interpretation or have the team waste time guessing your intent.

Conversely, when you overhear or directly hear your boss say something that sounds like an action, be certain to ask for clarification. Don’t make assumptions. Be clear on what you are accountable for delivering (specific cost, schedule, performance) and work diligently to achieve desired results.

What assumptions am I making right now?

 

What clarity do I need?

 

Who could help clarify this for me?

 

What assumptions might my staff be making?

 

Where can I add clarity?

 

What steps can I take today to ensure clarity for my team? For myself?

“Some of the best memories are made in flip-flops.”
- Unknown

Thank you for reading! I am an ICF Professional Certified Coach (PCC) specializing in Performance Coaching for Senior Executives, Flag Officers, and STEM professionals, and mental fitness for all. Don’t miss out on information and techniques that can take you to the next level. Schedule your one-on-one coaching here!

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